I just got home from grocery shopping, and let me tell you:

I….AM….POOPED!

When did this become so exhausting?

I’ll tell you when…..WHEN WE MOVED TO NEW YORK CITY!

Everything about grocery shopping was fun to me before we lived here. Call me odd, but I love to shop – even if it’s for food. I love the cabinets and refrigerator after they are all stocked up and when I have more than 2 options on what to make for dinner. I love jumping up from my throne when I’m craving some chocolate – and actually HAVING it…

But ever since I’ve lived here, grocery shopping has become torture. Let me walk you guys through my routine of grocery shopping.

First, I have to break the news to my youngest, Little Miss Sugar, who to my surprise- loathes shopping. With myself, and my oldest who would rather shop then breathe- it was a bit disturbing to hear such news. Daddy, on the other hand is pretty pumped about having one of us on his side.

After much hassle and a bribe or two – we head out the door and climb into the car. This is my “Pep Talk” with Little Miss Sugar. The talk that reminds her that she’d better behave if she knows what’s good for her. After she agrees, and I apply my lipgloss – (You never know when You’ll run into someone you know) we go into the store and fight over where she sits. In the front of the cart, or the back. Most times I give in, and she sits in the back, crushing my bag of Lay’s that I will later devour in one day.

The time comes when the cart is full, and everything on the list is checked off. By this time my arms hurt from pushing the cart, and my mind hurts from watching Little Miss Spice walk away from me 20 different times. <—-Yes, she got out of the cart after lots of begging.

I’m at the counter and I just want to fall asleep. Of course, they make sure that all the Easter candy is on display – and within arms reach for the little people. Little Miss Spice begs, and begs. and begs. But I  don’t give in. I feel proud for about 2 minutes, until I see all the candy she secretly tossed in the cart. That little…….

Oh well, I’ll just put it back, next to the OK Magazine with Brad and Angelina on the cover. Wow, she’s really pretty…

I pay the $238, and become frustrated when I find out they are all out of plastic- and are giving me all paper. Be quiet, tree huggers!

The bagging guy helps me put it all in the trunk, I pay him, and we’re on our way….“Well I guess it wasnt that bad”, I think to myself.

Then I turn the corner only to see that there is no parking in front of my apartment. “Breathe… “ I tell myself. I double park, walk Little Miss Sugar inside, give her a juice and some marshmallows and carry the groceries inside – two at a time since I have PAPER BAGS!!!!

After all 11 bags are inside, and my legs hate me, I get Little Miss Spice, go to the car and find parking. I walk a block and a half home, I fall to the sofa and try to forget the best part :

Putting them all away.

Do you have a hard time grocery shopping where you live?

It’s the time of year where people are grateful for family…the season of giving, a celebration of the birth of Jesus…..but mostly, the time I can put my favorite hobby to practice. Shopping!

There is nothing I would rather do. Shopping to me is such therapy. The smell of the stores when you walk in, ahhhhh.

Brand. New. Things.

All waiting to find a new home, and although I have little space in my NYC apartment, the season of giving makes me want to do the right thing, and give these items a new home to live in. It’s only the right thing to do, right?

So there I am, admiring all the shiny things I’d like to purchase. The only better feeling is the plastic card I’m carrying with Mr. Right’s name on it. Aisle by aisle, I slowly push my cart and make sure I’m not passing up a life long friendship with any of the perfectly packaged items. They’re all so pretty, and even though I may not need these things to survive, I feel like I love them already. “Love at first sight” has a whole new meaning.Then it hits me. “Stephanie, you’re not shopping for yourself, you are supposed to be buying something for others.” Sadly, I take out my list. And continue shopping for the people on my list.

“This sweater is nice. but what size is she?” “This medium looks small, but if I get a Large, will she be offended?”

“Now, what to buy a guy?,Tools? Clothes? Beer?” Ugh, shopping is way more difficult when its not for me.

After the 2 hours I spend in the stores, I speed to the checkout counter. And of course, there are only 3 lanes open, with lines stretching to the middle of the store. The lady in front of me has her snot nosed kid with her, who seems to like shoving her finger through her nose, and what looks like up to her brain.

The man behind me huffs and puffs like he’s late for dinner with the President, and then it happens. “No”, I think to myself. The cashier picks up her phone, and presses the intercom button. “Oh no, not now. Not when Ive just waited 15 minutes in this line.”

She opens her mouth and blurts it out, impatiently. “I need an approval”

The customers in front and behind me throw their hands up, frustrated. I look in my cart, and think “are these items THAT great? ahhh, forget it”

I push the cart over , and walk out……

Online shopping, FTW.

‘Tis the season…..”