Little Miss Sugar Loves all things girly. Pink Tutus, nail polish, and apparently bright red lipstick.

Yesterday while she was supposed to be enjoying 30 minutes of “Swiper No Swiping” on Dora, she came out of my room with bright red lipstick covering a good percentage of her little face. I was stirring the spaghetti when she said “Mommy, do I look beeeee-u-teee-ful?” I looked and almost peed my pants. She scared the CRAP out of me.

Seriously, I thought I was in a scene of The Dark Knight, and The Joker was staring right at me asking “Why So Serious”?

While still trying to be nice, I told her she was not supposed to be in my make-up bag. She stomped her little feet, and ran back into my room. As I followed, I felt bad for not saying how beeee-u-teee-ful she looked, so I sat on the bed next to her and told her how beautiful she was – without the Hooker look. (Not my exact words)…

I explained that she doesn’t need lipstick, or pink nail polish to be beautiful. She already was….

Can’t wait to have this same talk in Junior High….UGH

Do you let your kids wear make-up in the house? What are your thoughts on Make-up?

If you don’t know what a Reality Show is in this decade, you have been living underneath a rock. A huge rock.

When I saw my first reality show I was a bit annoyed. One because I didn’t know why anyone would want to watch real events in peoples lives for fun. And two, because I was watching real events  in people’s lives for fun.

Since my first time watching reality, there has been an explosion of them all over the damn place. From American Idol to The Bachelor, I have no clue what to do with my relax time.

Being a music lover, I find it a bit frustrating that MTV (short for Music Television) has so many reality shows that it’s lost itself in the process. Hello? Where’s the Music? The only drop of music I see now is that hillbilly from Rock of Love playing his “geetar” for the 30 not so classy ladies that are fighting for him….Which grosses me out. Have they seen him at all??

Nevermind the “find a spouse” reality shows, let’s head over to the clueless department. Clueless meaning this should be your state of mind when watching shows like Fantasia, Real Housewives, The Hills and even though Kim’s ass makes up for her brains – Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I can’t help but ponder to myself “Self, don’t you have anything better to do than Watch The guidos from Jersey Shore fight over hair gel and Lasagna?” And quite frankly the answer is “NO.”

Do you know why, America?

Because society is NUTS for these shows. And if you don’t know who Hugh Hefner is boinking these days, you are considered a loser.

America has officially gone mad for these reality shows. Do you ever find it strange that Breaking News now consists of Heidi Montag’s latest boob job? Or Snooki’s “Bumpit”?

I can’t help but wonder why people like Coolio, M C Hammer, and Hulk Hogan can bounce from “Who????” to having their own shows. Who comes up with these ideas?

Do you watch reality shows? Which ones?

My hubby and I both have pretty thick eyebrows… Mine I pluck or wax, while he decides to look like “The Count” from Sesame Street. “ONE…..ahh ahh ahh.” Sorry, I just can’t say “The Count” without imitating him.

Anywho, having 2 girls with our hairy genetics really scared me. There was a huge risk of giving birth to two “Counts”, or even worse…. Bert.

Yea that’s not cute.

I’ve always said Little Miss Spice resembles Madonna’s daughter, Lourdes. How cute is she, right? Shes got the same wavy brown hair, and I’m starting to worry that she may be headed in her direction with the brows as well. If you’ve never seen Lourdes’ brows, allow me to show you.

Now I understand that its completely superficial to care about things like eyebrows and such but shit. I don’t want my baby running around looking like a baby gorilla.!

I have heard of moms plucking as early as 4 yrs old, and that just grosses me out. I cry when I pluck my own eyebrows, and usually it’s because I’m watching a Lifetime movie….but a little because it FRIGGIN hurts!

I can’t imagine plucking my 5 1/2 year old’s brows anytime soon. But then it takes me to this question……

When is a child old enough to pluck their brows?

Dora the Duckie here is Little Miss Sugar’s favorite toy. She has had it since birth, and likes to play with her pretty often. She sometimes even brings Dora to the table to have lunch with her while “they” watch cartoons.

Yesterday when the livingroom floor looked like Hurricane Katrina ran through it, I asked the girls to clean it up. As usual, their reaction was as though they had to clean poo off the toilet.

I understand first hand how much cleaning sucks sometimes. But if I continue to clean up after them, they learn nothing, and I am a maid for the next 16 + years. Yea, thats not going to happen.

Little Miss Spice whined for a bit, but realized Mama wasn’t budging. She started to pick her toys up and take them to her room. Little Miss Sugar decided she was just too good for cleaning.

I tried everything, from “Youre not going to be able to play in the livingroom anymore if you dont clean up” to “Do you want to sit in time out?” and then I finally thought of an idea.

Dora the Duckie was in her hands as she was sitting on the floor. I took Dora and put her on top of the refrigerator. Little Miss Sugar went WILD.

I told her that Dora was in jail, and it was up to her to get her out.  Dora needed her to clean up the livingroom so she can come back to play. First she looked at me like I was an ass. Then 2-3 minutes later she asked when she can have her back.

“Dora is in jail and she can’t come back until you clean up the livingroom. Then she can come out and play.”

I have never seen her clean faster! Within 5 minutes, the livingroom actually looked like an adult area. No toys, books or barbies covering the floor.

If this idea was so easy, Dora the Duckie can plan on being put in the Slammer more often.

Do you take things away from your kids to bargain with them?

….Again.

I cannot even beging to count how many diets I have tried. Low carb, no carb, Master Cleanse, and even fasting.

With any diet, I see the same result…FRUSTRATION.

Anyone who knows me knows I can EAT! I am not the kind of girl that will shy away from food and order the salad. In fact, I remember being on a date and ordering a Burger, fries, soda, AND a side of Chicken Wings…No shame in my game.

And those same people who know me also know I don’t like to exercise. I hate to sweat, and I run on only 3 occasions:

A.) Someone is chasing me.

B.) The phone is ringing.

C.) There is a 50% off sale at Victoria’s Secret.

With my love for food, and my laziness in the workout department, I am preventing myself from being the confident gal I used to be. I used to look good, and feel good too. These days, I seem to get the same statement from people trying to make me feel better:

“You look good for having 2 kids”

Really? Is that a compliment or an insult?

You don’t tell Chelsea Handler she’s funny for being a Jew. She’s just funny. And I don’t want to look good for having kids. I just want to look good. Even more-so, I want to feel good again.

What are your tricks to lose weight? Do you stick to a Weight Loss Plan/Diet?